Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
Ben's daughter, Lisa, has borderline personality disorder. She calls Ben and Lisa's story illustrates a few aspects of how borderline personality disorder [BPD] tends to impact relationships. BPD exacerbates this problem. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) can take a real toll on a if You're Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality Disorder. Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses you on Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes . as anger, loneliness, and emptiness and abandonment or dependency issues.
Is everything always your fault?
Does the person accuse you of doing and saying things you never did? Do you feel misunderstood whenever you try to explain or reassure your partner? Do you feel manipulated by fear, guilt, or outrageous behavior?
You may find yourself putting most of your energy into the person with BPD at the expense of your own emotional needs. But this is a recipe for resentment, depression, burnout, and even physical illness.Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships
Make it a priority to stay in touch with family and friends who make you feel good. You need the support of people who will listen to you, make you feel cared for, and offer reality checks when needed. Give yourself permission to have a life outside of your relationship with the person with BPD. Join a support group for BPD family members. Try to avoid this pitfall. Learn to manage stress.
Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder - ddttrh.info
There are times [when our relationship] has plummeted to the depths whereby we were both ready to give up. A flicker of joy and recognition. The person they knew and love is still there, somewhere deep down inside.
Those moments are what the person longs for. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD. My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational. Hearing someone else share your struggles and negotiate the realities of the illness can be both comforting and illuminating. Begin Your Recovery Journey.
Struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder? We're Here to Help. Email Us Passion and Fear in BPD Relationships Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out.
For them, trust is always an issue, often leading to distortions of reality and paranoia. They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them, make you doubt reality and your sanity, or even brainwash you as emotional manipulation.
It is not unusual for them to cut off friends and relatives who they feel have betrayed them. They react to their profound fears of abandonment with needy and clingy behavior or anger and fury that reflect their own skewed reality and self-image. In a close relationship, they must walk a tightrope to balance the fear of being alone or of being too close. To do so, they try to control with commands or manipulation, including flattery and seduction.
Whereas narcissists enjoy being understood, too much understanding frightens the borderline. Generally, borderlines are codependent, and find another codependent to merge with and to help them. They seek someone to provide stability and balance their changeable emotions.
A codependent or narcissist who acts self-sufficient and controls his or her feelings can provide a perfect match. The person with BPD may appear to be the underdog in the relationship, while his or her partner is the steady, needless and caretaking top dog.
How to Cope When a Partner or Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder
They each exercise control in different ways. The non-BPD may do it through caretaking. Passion and intense emotions are enlivening to the person without BPD, who finds being alone depressing or experiences healthy people as boring. Codependents already have low self-esteem and poor boundaries, so they placate, accommodate, and apologize when attacked in order to maintain the emotional connection in the relationship.
Setting a boundary can sometimes snap them out of their delusional thinking. Calling their bluff also is helpful. Both strategies require that you build his or her self-esteem, learn to be assertive, and derive outside emotional support. Giving in to them and giving them control does not make them feel more safe, but the opposite.
See also my blog on manipulation.