Meet the parents jinxy quotes about life

Meet the Parents () - Quotes - IMDb

meet the parents jinxy quotes about life

Meet the Parents quotes. 43 total quotes Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat, for You gave me life, you gave me milk, you gave me courage. Your name. Meet the Parents is a American comedy written by Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg and Later, Greg loses Jinx and replaces him with a stray whose tail he spray paints to . Sandy and Harry Summers in the book Saving Lives: Why the Media's Portrayal of Wikiquote has quotations related to: Meet the Parents . Amen -Ben Stiller, Meet the Parents (full quote). Jack: Do . JINX CANNOT FLUSH THE TOILET, HE'S A CAT FOR CRY SAKES! .. , For once in my life.

He initially presented it to Roach who had, up to that point, directed the first two Austin Powers films. Roach admits to have liked the script from the beginning [27] and was very much willing to make the film even though he thought "it needed more work. The studio was skeptical of Roach's ability to direct a "less-cartoony, character-driven script" compared to a comedy like Austin Powers. The drafts of the script were written by Herzfeld and, once De Niro and Stiller were confirmed as stars, John Hamburg was brought on board "to help fit the script to their verbal styles.

The script was not written with De Niro in mind as Jack Byrnes; the first draft of the script was completed inthree years before De Niro appeared in Analyze This. Explaining how Ben Stiller came to be cast in the role of Greg, Roach states: The film's script was initially written with Jim Carrey in the role of Greg and contained much more physical comedy, something that Stiller did not think would be successful with himself playing the role.

She ultimately lost the role to Teri Polo because the filmmakers "didn't think [Watts] was sexy enough". Jinx the cat was played by two five-year-old Himalayan cats named Bailey and Misha sometimes written as Meesha [35]. The American Humane Association oversaw the filming of all scenes where the cats were used and ensured the animals' obedience and well-being by keeping two trainers and a veterinarian on set at all times.

The house we grew up in was originally erected So that, plus we had a lot of pets-- - Which one did you milk then? Honey, he said he pumped milk. What have you ever milked? I milked a cat once. You wanna hear a story? My sister had a cat, and the cat birthed a litter of kittens. Must've been of them, and there was this one little runt I went in and just simply, you know, just-- into a little saucer, then took the saucer and fed it to Geppetto-- that's what I named him.

I had-- I had no idea you could milk a cat. Oh, yeah, you can milk anything with nipples. I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me? Okay, could we change the subject perhaps? I thought maybe we could celebrate with a little bubbly. Can you milk me?

Would anybody care for a bottle of Oyster Bay Drug and Sundries finest champagne? That is so sweet of you, Greg. Isn't that a nice gesture? How could I have seen Debbie's ring, Mom? Well, when I gave Bob the okay to propose to Deb, I put him in touch with my diamond guy, and he picked out the same design Kevin gave you. Kevin, your old boyfriend? Well, yeah, Kevin was Pam's fianc? Greg, sweetie, how you doing? Oh, just fine, considering I desecrated your grandma's remains, found out you were engaged and had your father ask me to milk him.

At least back then he was still talking to me. I can't believe you didn't tell me you were that close. Who, Daddy and me? No, Kevin and you. Do we have to know everything about each other's pasts? You never told me about your cat-milking days in Motown. That was a long time ago, Pam. Yeah, okay, well, so was this. Kevin's and my connection was more physical than anything else. Like you worked out together? No, no, it was nothing, nothing.

It was a stupid sexual thing. I'm gonna go throw up now. Kevin and I were only engaged for a month before I realized that I'd made a mistake, okay? I-l-l gave back the ring, I moved to Chicago, and I met and fell in love with you, okay, so can we please drop this?

I just feel like this is not going well at all. I feel like your dad hates me. He doesn't hate you, sweetie. Just give him a chance, all right? Maybe he's nervous too, huh? I thought he would love my gift, you know, being this big flower guy, but it's like he didn't even show the slightest bit of interest.

You are the most adorable, loving, sweetest man in the whole world, and I love you. And very soon my parents are gonna see that Speaking of growing to love you-- Honey, it's late. I know it's late. Winky is still on Chicago time, and we both know there's only one way to make Mr.

What's with the robe?

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My pajamas are in the suitcase with everything else. Hey, I'll lend you a pair of Jack's. You don't have to do that, Dina. Look, Greg, I just wanna say, don't worry about what happened tonight.

Still, I feel horrible. I mean-- Well, it was a horrible thing. But let's just put all that behind us and enjoy our weekend together. These'll do just fine. See you in the morning.

Have a nice sleep. Oh, no, no, no, Greg, we made up the pullout for you down in the den. Oh, okay, 'cause Pam said I should sleep in Debbie's room. Well, Debbie'll be sleeping here tomorrow. This way, you'll have more privacy, you'll have your own bathroom. Just try not to flush the toilet. It's always a little quirky. I understand it's the st century, and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter. But under our roof, it's my way or the Long Island Expressway.

Keep your snake in its cage for hours. At Atlantic American Airways, customer satisfaction always comes first. We are experiencing heavy call volume. Your call is very important to us. It will be answered in approximately minutes. Please press " " if you'd like to talk to a representative. Please call back-- Oh! I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him that's a little off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack, you know we've been through this I think Greg-- he's a lovely young man.

And, honey, Pam thinks he might be the one. She said those exact words? I didn't tape record it, Jack, but that's the impression. What kind of a family doesn't have time to sit down for dinner? Please try to enjoy the weekend, honey. Both our daughters are in love. That's what I'm worried about. Oh, geez, I just realized something. Looking for something, Greg? Jesus, Jack, you scared me. I heard a noise, so I came down to see if everything was okay.

I just-- I'm sorry. I saw a light on, and I kinda stumbled in. I didn't realize-- That's okay. No, not at all. I mean, I mean-- I mean, this is great, though. I love this-- what you-- it's a cozy little nook.

I noticed you were looking at that when I came in. It's an antique polygraph machine. Is that what that is?

meet the parents jinxy quotes about life

I've seen these before, but I never saw one actually up close. Why don't you try that on? We'll have some fun. I'll show you how it works. You have nothing to hide. They're-- You'd be surprised how accurate they are. They can tell fairly easily if someone's lying or not. Now I'm gonna ask you some questions, and all you have to do is answer "yes" or "no.

Let's give it a whirl. Did you fly on an airplane today? No, it was rare. It was a little rare for my taste. The needles are jumping. Have you ever watched pornographic videos? No, no, I'm just going over some of my answers from the polygraph test your dad gave me. Well, did you lie to him? I mean-- Well, he asked me if we were living together, and-- What'd you tell him? Your mother walked in Is this how you'd react if I told you he shoved bamboo shoots up my fingernails?

Or does he hook all your boyfriends up to his little machine? Well, he doesn't need a machine. He's a human lie detector. Greg, my father was never in the rare flower business. That was just his cover. He was in the C. How could you not tell me this? I wanted to, honey, but it was strictly He's in the C.

He was a spy? He is a spy? No, he was more like a psychological profiler. They used him to interrogate suspected double agents in the company. I was scared of your dad back when I thought he was a florist. It's wonderful to know that I've actually got a C.

You're doing great, okay? This is a lot to take in, honey. Oh, I know, but you're doing fine. I'm not supposed to let the snake out of my cage. I told your dad I wouldn't touch you for hours. Okay, I'm not in junior high anymore, so-- No, no, no. I want to try to respect his rules, okay? Uh, why don't you go ahead and get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning.

Pam told me she let you in on a little secret of mine last night. Well, as long as you can keep your mouth shut for the rest of your life, you're in no immediate danger. I'm just being humorous. But the fact is, Greg, with the knowledge you've been given, you are now on the inside of what I like to call Let's go inside and have breakfast. Not at the table, honey, please. You must be Greg. Nice 'do, nice 'do.

I'll do the intros. Greg, this is my sister, Debbie. Nice to meet you. Oh, the bride to be. You can call me Bob Whoa, now, cut that out. You know, Greg's in medicine, too, Larry.

Hey, why don't I get you a chair, Greg? So, you didn't want to go for the M. No, I actually thought about becoming a doctor, but I decided it wasn't for me. Oh, he did more than okay. Why did you take the test if you weren't planning on going to med school? Well, I wanted to keep my options open, but in the end, nursing was a better fit for me. It gives you the freedom to work in several different areas of medicine. Wasn't your friend Andy supposed to be here by now?

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I thought Deb told you. Andy threw out his back. He can't make the wedding. Now I have to reconfigure the whole procession. Um, Bob, why doesn't Greg stand in for Andy, be the usher? Bob, Greg'll be your second usher. Yeah, yeah, okay, sure. Let's all finish up and get ready to go In that case, I'd better get upstairs Dina, thank you so much for breakfast. Why didn't you wake me up? Don't worry about it. Tell that to Dr.

Torquemada in there with the Grand Inquisition. Go take a shower, get dressed and come back down. No, I don't-- Come on. I just-- No, I don't feel comfortable wearing your dad's underwear.

meet the parents jinxy quotes about life

Okay, well, go wake up Denny and borrow some of his. You want me to go wake up your brother who I never met Top of the stairs, turn right. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What the hell you doing in here?

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I'm-- I'm Greg, Pam's friend. Were you just sniffing my boxers, dude? No, no, she said I could come up here, maybe borrow some clothes from you. Do me a favor. Yeah, so, it's all good. Dad keeps you guys under a pretty close watch, huh? No, it's not that bad. Your little Pamcake's got it a lot worse than I do.

meet the parents jinxy quotes about life

You need some clothes. Yes, that would be-- that would be great. Glad to hook you up. Like what you done with the crib. Yeah, I think these ought a do it. All right, here you go, chief. Thanks a lot, Denny.

Oh, and don't worry about the little covert op, all right? I'll keep it on the lowdown. Larry, Linda, Debbie, Bob, honey. Now, I'm gonna activate the alarm. It'll go off in T minus seconds. I don't think I need a jacket. It's cold out, honey. Here, take Denny's jacket. Hey, Denny, I'm lending Greg your jacket, okay? Denny, how's the tux fit? Dad, uh-- What's that? I-It's a sculpture I found in Greg's jacket. This isn't a sculpture, Denny. This is a device for smoking marijuana. I like the top hat.

Can I talk to you for a minute? Did I not clearly explain the circle of trust to you, Greg? Mm, yeah, I think I got it. Then is there something you wanna tell me? Mm, l-l don't think so. Didn't we have a discussion yesterday in the car about this? You mean me and Pam. Yes, I would love to talk to you about that.

We're not talking about Pam. We're talking about you. See, if I can't trust you, Greg, then I have no choice And once you're out, you're out. There's no coming back.

Mm, well, I would definitely like to stay inside the circle. Well, then, tell me the truth. Jack, I don't know what we're talking about. All right, now look, Focker, I'm a patient man.

That's what months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown. I thought we were going to Kevin's house. This is Kevin's new house. Oh, this is a crazy house. Not bad, huh, Dad? Maybe he uses marijuana for medicinal purposes.

People do that nowadays. Honey, this kid has been lying to us from the moment we met him. Get in some quality time with the boys? Uh-huh, yeah, it was fun. Listen, I hope this lunch isn't too weird for you. Q at Best Man's" be weird?

meet the parents jinxy quotes about life

I was sure I told you. Kevin is Bob's best man. This is his place. How does he know Bob? I was really lucky I was able to salvage this wood Kevin, the house is amazing. This is where Maybe you should have gotten married here. All right, the sun is out, the grill is hot and the pool is luke. If I can interest you in a swim and a little B. Q, just follow me. It must cost a fortune to heat this place. I don't know why I thought you knew. It-- It's not a big deal. If I can handle a weekend without sex and cigarettes, I think I can handle an afternoon with your ex-fianc?

Now, for the floor that you're walking on, I chose this Bolivian wormwood. I think it works well in here. I have the Viking range here and the twin Sub-Z's. Yeah, they open up right there. Oh, I get it. Yeah, kind of blend in. Are you a homeowner, Greg? No, no, I rent.

So, things are going real, real well for you, aren't they, eh, Kevo? Gosh, things have been going so great lately. I got in early on some wireless I.

What line of work are you in? There are a lot of Benjamins to be made now with biotech stuff. I don't have to tell you that. You gotta strike while the iron's hot. That's great to give something back like that. I'd love to find time to do volunteer work. Just the other day I saw this golden retriever that-- He had like a gimp, and he couldn't really-- It made me feel terrible. I wish there was something I could do. Yeah, well, I get paid, but also it feels, you know, good too.

So it's kind of an everybody wins. What are you-- You're like a Wall Street trader? I mean, I'm willing to be painted with that brush. Yes, that's my day job. We got time, don't we, Jack? I want to show you what I'm really interested in. It looks like somebody got an "A" in wood shop. I whittled that out of beech wood. So what got you into, uh, "carpentering"? He was a carpenter, and I just figured if you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps, who better than Christ?

You're in good company. Well, I'm gonna head to the pool, but why don't you show Greg and Pam the gift? I put a fresh coat of lacquer on this this morning, so bear with me with the fumes. The little holes are for candles. And then later, they'll collect rainfall. Or you might call it a "ho-puh. I'm gonna take it over to the Byrneses', and tomorrow Robert and Debra will meet beneath it to become man and wife.

And later, when they purchase a home, maybe it will grace their garden. Well, that's my sappy, romantic idea. No, not too bad. Which isn't bad, considering I carved it all by hand from one piece of wood. Time to start the barbecue, big guy.

I better get back to playing host. Okay, you guys, grab your suits, and I'll meet you down at the pool. I don't even have a suit with me. The airline lost my bag and-- [Jack] Pamcake, let's go. Mom's got your suit here. You better get going. And, by the way, she just had the nicest things to say about you.

Yeah, we had some good times together. Boy, she is a tomcat. So, let me hook you up with some trunks, Gregger. I'm not gonna swim. I'm not taking no for an answer. What's it gonna be? Ah-- How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog? I think they call that "the munchies. Hit the ball, Kev!

  • Meet the Parents quotes
  • Meet the Parents Quotes

Show 'em what you got! You gotta rush the net on defense. Don't be afraid of the ball. Greg is afraid of the ball. We're gettin' cold in here. If Florence Nightingale over here would play defense.

Larry, keep floatin' where you are. Denny, take the deep shots. Greg, nobody's expecting much out of you.

Meet the Parents (2/11) Best Movie Quote - Puff the Magic Dragon (2000)

I'd have to be pretty high, but yeah. I bet you would, Panama Red. So that, plus we had a lot of pets-- Jack: Which one did you milk then? Honey, he said he pumped milk.

What have you ever milked? I milked a cat once. You wanna hear a story? My sister had a cat, and the cat birthed a litter of kittens. Must've been 8 of them, and there was this one little runt I went in and just simply, you know, just-- into a little saucer, then took the saucer and fed it to Geppetto-- that's what I named him. I had-- I had no idea you could milk a cat. Oh, yeah, you can milk anything with nipples.

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me? Are you a homeowner, Greg? No, no, I rent. So, things are going real, real well for you, aren't they, eh, Kevo? Gosh, things have been going so great lately. I got in early on some wireless I.

What about you, Greg? What line of work are you in? I'm in health care. Yeah, so you know what I'm talking about. There are a lot of Benjamins to be made now with biotech stuff. I don't have to tell you that. You gotta strike while the iron's hot. Greg's a male nurse. That's great to give something back like that. I'd love to find time to do volunteer work.

Just the other day I saw this golden retriever that-- He had like a gimp, and he couldn't really-- It made me feel terrible. I wish there was something I could do. Yeah, well, I get paid, but also it feels, you know, good too. So it's kind of an everybody wins. What are you-- You're like a Wall Street trader? I mean, I'm willing to be painted with that brush.

Yes, that's my day job. Okay, G-Man, we've got swordfish and we've got salmon, what'll it be? How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog, I'm pretty hungry.