7 Mind Games He Plays & How to Deal | Her Campus
In most relationships, at one point or another, most of us have played “games:” we've tested and tried, gently manipulated and used certain. "After a year relationship, I began online dating," he says. "I was talking to girls in their 20s because those were the ones I felt most attracted. For Survival: Understanding Mind Games Men Play in Relationships If you thought that only women were good at playing mind games, you . You keep on wondering if you did something wrong to hurt him on the last date.
You will start believing that you do not deserve such a 'nice' guy, and wouldn't want to lose him at any cost. This will make you cling on to him even more. If you thought that only women were good at playing mind games, you are completely mistaken.
Men play on the insecurities and emotional involvement of women, and manipulate them to have their way. Some love to play mind games on women to test their patience, intelligence, compatibility, loyalty, etc. They tend to exploit the emotional nature of women and use it for their own advantage. How you react to your partner's mind games helps him decide the future of your relationship. You must know when he is playing a mind game with you, so that you can act wisely and refrain from taking any drastic step which will ruin your relationship.
The man you have just met will shower you with lots of attention, compliments, gifts, etc.
He will say that you mean the world to him, and will wonder why you hadn't met him earlier. There will be butterflies in your stomach, stolen kisses, late-night texts and talks. You may even find surprise flowers and chocolates delivered at your doorstep. Like always, you will think that he is your 'Mr. Then you will take the relationship to the next level. This excitement will continue for a month, and after reaching the 'break-even point', he will say that he wants to take things slow.
The 10 Dating Games Men And Women Play (Whether You Realize It Or Not)
The contact may become lesser and lesser, until one day, when there will be nothing left with you but memories. He will try to portray that everything is perfect, and you mean a lot to him, only to leave you for someone else. And you will keep wondering what exactly went wrong. The Mills and Boon kind of romance only happens in Mills and Boon.
Getting attached too soon will not be good for you at all. So, take some time to think if this relationship is merely an attraction or true love, before your're heartbroken.
The 'Convenience' Game So, you and your boyfriend have a strange relationship. He breaks your heart and walks away, only to appear after a few days and apologize for his behavior. Guess what, history repeats itself, and he leaves once again. Every time he comes back into your life, he has his own reasons. Sometimes, its work, sometimes, his friends keep him busy, and then there are always some duties that he is expected to do at home.
He may even give you lame reasons that his great-great-grandmother expired, and he needed to be by his great-great-grandpa's side. That is why he didn't show up for six months. The reasons keep on getting bizarre, so much so, that you wonder if he owns an encyclopedia on excuses.
This continues for some time, before you realize that you are being taken for a ride. He treats you as a matter of convenience. Whenever he wants, he comes into your life, and leaves you as he pleases. Are you really that naive? He is giving you all kinds of lame reasons, and you are buying them!
Understand that you have to leave him, just as he left you twice. Simply find someone else; there are plenty of fish in the ocean. The 'No Sex' Game So, the guy who could not keep his hands off you is showing no interest in getting intimate lately. I know how worried you must be because of this. You must be killing yourself with thoughts like, 'has he found someone else? However, you need to understand that he does this, so that you will start doubting your capacity in the art of lovemaking.
The 10 Dating Games Men And Women Play (Whether You Realize It Or Not) | Thought Catalog
You will be forced to confront him, and this is all that he wants you to do. He does this so that he can 'tell' you what he expects from you during physical intimacy, without sounding too demanding. There is no problem in asking him what he expects from you. However, don't get into a physical act which you may not be comfortable with, just because it pleases him. The 'Comparison' Game This is perhaps the worst game ever, because it will hurt your self-esteem.
If your boyfriend is comparing you with any other girl, it will affect you terribly. It will only add insult to injury, if that girl is someone close to you, like your best friend or sister. He will tell you to go to the gym just like her, become smart like she is, how attractive she is, etc. He is probably well aware that this will cause feelings of jealousy and anger in you.
Even then, he will continue to compare your looks, figure, fitness, style, etc. By making you question everything about your appearance and existence, he tries to bring your self-esteem down. First of all, don't see his criticism in negative light. Maybe he really does want you to improve. However, tell him that you will accept constructive criticism, but you cannot stand comparison, as you take immense pride in your individuality. However, if he is being unreasonable, tell him that you cannot change any further.
Try not to say anything negative to him in a fit of anger, as he may use it against you in a future argument. The 'No Compliment' Game You went to a salon and got all decked up specially for him, since you wanted to look beautiful for him.
The whole evening passed by, and he didn't even pay you a single compliment. You are waiting to hear simple words of praise from him. He talks about everything else under the sun, but fails to notice your stunning looks. Your anger is reaching its boiling point, as you wait for him to give you a small compliment.
You even indulge in some compliment-fishing by stroking your hair or batting your eyelashes, but to no avail. If a man constantly breaks plans with you, is overly difficult to reach or seems to be inconsistent in his interest, then he may very well be playing games. While some men play games out of fear of commitment or rejection, others may lack empathy or a desire for intimacy. Some see relationships only as a way of building self-esteem, serving their self-interest or obtaining other personal benefits.
Step 2 Take control. Once you've identified a game-playing strategy, it is time to take back control. Deal with false promises by insisting that you receive your end of the bargain first, advises social psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in the Psychology Today article "How To Defend Against Manipulative Dating Games: Let him know that you will not tolerate a lack of respect for your time and other commitments, and that your dates will cease until he can make a reasonable effort to be consistent in his availability.
In general, be coutious of new relationships from the beginning, and don't give up your power by becoming too attached before you really know the other person. Step 3 Choose whether to stay.
Think about whether the man you are dating is simply fears commitment, or if his issues may run deeper. Signs that he might be a good catch and just require a bit of patience include a desire for a love relationship, a general positive regard for women, past long-term relationships and a willingness to grow and work on issues, writes Kirschner. On the other hand, if the man you are dating seems self-absorbed, lacks empathy, does not seem to want intimacy and flirts with other women, he may be narcissistic and view relationships as games to be won, according to a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, and funded in part by the University of Georgia.
If the latter is true, you will probably want to consider severing ties with this man.