Am i selfish in a relationship

Test: Are you a selfish lover? | Psychologies

am i selfish in a relationship

There is nothing that can throw a relationship out of balance like selfish behaviour. We all have the potential to be selfish at some point in our. When it comes to relationships, are you a giver or a taker? Then get your partner to do it too, and see what your score says about you as a. Everyone deserves loving relationships, but selfish people will show clear behaviors that reveal themselves.

Being totally focused on the other person isn't healthy either. It's co-dependent and this creates problems in relationships too. The right answer is to have a good equal balance between taking care of yourself and showing up for your spouse.

Selfishness In Relationships

It is your job not your partner's to make sure your needs are being met and your bucket is kept full. If you are running on empty and are desperate for validation and reassurance, you are good enough, loved and wanted, you are probably not good at asking for what you need and doing self-care. This is the first thing we recommend you both work on.

If you make sure your bucket is full, you will always have the energy to give to your family. Having said that, most of the time selfishness can be fixed if you both recognize your fears of failure and loss, and learn how to get out of them.

When one spouse reacts in fear which is selfish it usually triggers the other person's fears and brings out selfishness in them too.

What to Do When Selfishness Creeps into Your Relationship

It sounds like your wife may be suffering with fear of loss, as she feels life is unfair and she is not getting the happy marriage she believed she would have. The fear of loss is triggered any time you feel taken from or your expectations are not met. Instead of staying triggered in these fears you must adjust your mindset about your value, knowing it cannot be diminished no matter what your spouse thinks or says about you, and learn to see this situation as a learning opportunity.

am i selfish in a relationship

Fights spice up relationships and to some extent, they are necessary, but the extent of ignorance and irrational behavior by a partner is much more grievous in case of selfish partners. It can also be the other way round; the partner may become too much concerned and start expecting a lot from you.

Expectations are the necessities of relationships, but the fine line dividing expectations and over-expectations is easily crossed by selfish partners.

am i selfish in a relationship

Overcoming Selfishness All you need to do is to consider the other person's thoughts and feelings before you take some extreme steps. Some ways that can strengthen your relationship have been mentioned below.

am i selfish in a relationship

The number one killer in most of the relationships is the lack of communication. When both partners are unable to communicate their desires and expectations to each other, it opens the gateway for negative traits like frustration and anger to enter the relationship.

am i selfish in a relationship

Right and effective communication is the key to sort out any issue before it becomes a problem. Never hesitate to speak to your partner. The very premise of relationships is to share each other's life. While, eyes are enough to communicate your feelings to your partner, it is best to use words when both of you are in a bad temper! Remember, the mantra is to express yourself effectively! Trusting a partner is something that is vital for every relationship.

Selfishness strikes a relationship when there is no trust. It is only after trust is broken that both partners start looking out for themselves. If you don't trust your partner, it obviously means you are in the relationship for wrong reasons and if not fixed in time, the relationship is destined to break up.

What to Do When Selfishness Creeps into Your Relationship

So, water the garden of your love with trust and commitment. Even if arguments and skirmishes occur, try not to blow things out of proportion.

am i selfish in a relationship

Stop being rude to your love. After all, you both love each other! It will soon get old and become annoying and unbearable, and the once happy relationship will either end in breakup, or become extremely unhappy. Here are a couple ways to make sure that doesn't happen.

Realize That Your Partner Has Their Own Life Once you realize that your partner has their own way of doing things, their own beliefs and habitsand their own unique perspective on the world, it becomes easier for you to allow them to be themselves while you allow yourself to be yourself. It's to create joy in this world and make other people happy.

If you haven't experienced this then you are just going to have to trust me on this one until you experience it yourself. Strive to make your partner smile and you will feel your heart lighten a little. Do something unexpected for your partner that has nothing to do with getting what you want and you will feel as though you added some value to someone else's life.

There really is no better feeling than making someone else happy, especially when it's your partner in life. Focus on Making Yourself Happy When you put the focus on making yourself happy then you take off the pressure of having others make you happy.

In other words, they don't need to make you happy because you do it yourself. There is a common misconception that other people are the ones who make us happy in life.

We believe that our partner should strive to make our lives the best they can.