7 Ways To Make Interfaith Relationships Work
Even if you're not that religious, differences can creep up in the future, Crohn or your relationship (e.g., you're both agnostic), you still have a different cultural. Can a relationship between people with religious differences work? Views This can be an important communication exercise for the two of you. You can. So for every two Jewish women scanning JDate or her local kosher deli for the But making an interfaith relationship work isn't easy. In the end, however, religious differences may not be all that different from the other.
Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife. As in the Old Testament, the main issue seems to be whether the non-believer pulls the believer away from his or her faith. Summing up the Bible on interfaith marriage From a Biblical perspective then, this is the big question to ask when considering whether to marry someone who has a different faith, or who has no faith at all: Will marrying this person pull me away from my faith? Will marrying him or her pull me away from believing in God and following God in my everyday life?
The Bible itself presents us with a complex mixture of prohibitions against interfaith marriages, acceptance of interfaith marriage under some circumstances, major figures such as Solomon who violated that prohibition and were pulled away from God, and other major figures such as Joseph and Moses who married foreign wives and continued steady in their faith in God. In short, the Bible presents us with the pluses and minuses of interfaith marriage, and requires us to use our judgment in considering whether to marry someone who does not share our faith.
And the primary issue from a Biblical perspective is whether this marriage will help or hurt our faith in God. How important is your faith to you? For some people, religious faith is a major part of their lives.
For others, it is more of a side issue. How important is it to you that your partner shares your faith? These are questions you and your partner must ask yourselves if you do not share the same faith. Are you willing to have your partner, or your spouse, not share in beliefs and experiences that are a key ingredient of your life?
The Apostle Paul raises the possibility that your husband or wife might, in time, come to share your faith. Ten or twenty years later, you may find yourself living with someone who still does not share your beliefs, and with whom you still cannot share some of your deepest and most important thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If your faith is very important to you, and forms a core part of your life, I would suggest thinking very carefully before tying yourself to someone who does not share your faith.
If, on the other hand, your faith is more of a side issue, and your main focus is on other things, such as career, service, humanitarianism, ecology, or political action, a difference in faith between you and your partner may not be such a big issue. Of course, from my perspective as a spiritual teacher, God and spirit are at the core of human life—and it is best to share that with your partner. But only you can discern and decide what your core values are, and whether you share them with your partner.
As a general rule, I would suggest that before you commit yourself to someone, and especially before you tie the knot with him or her, make sure the two of you see eye to eye on your core values and on your morals, ethics, and goals in life.
If the two of you are pulling in two different directions, and those two different directions reflect different core values and goals in life, it is only a matter of time before your relationship gets torn apart. If you do share core values even though your religious faith is different, then as long as the two of you are able to bridge that gap in faith, the relationship might just work after all. Fundamentalist, moderate, or mystical?
Another reality to consider is that there is a wide variety in the types of faith people have.
Though there is infinite variety along this scale, the overall dynamics relating to interfaith marriages are fairly clear: Fundamentalists and evangelicals will have the hardest time being married to someone who does not share their faith. Moderates will generally find it easier to be married to someone who does not share their faith. People with broad and mystical spiritual perspectives will have the easiest time being married to someone with a different spiritual perspective.
Of course, this assumes that each is married to someone who falls in the same part of the scale. For example, a fundamentalist Christian marrying a fundamentalist Muslim is a recipe for disaster.
How can you really be married to someone whom you believe is going to hell, or is an infidel? However, moderate Jews, Christians, Muslims, and people of other faiths commonly marry one another and have good and loving relationships.
If either if you leans toward the fundamentalist or evangelical end of your religion, and you belong to different religions or churches, that is a serious red flag.
How to manage differences in religious beliefs in a relationship
If one or the other does not convert, that relationship is headed for disaster. If your partner is pressuring you to convert to his or her faith, that is also a serious red flag. Relationships must be based on mutual respect.
What about marrying an atheist or agnostic? What about if you are a believer and your partner is an atheist or an agnostic? This, too, is a personal decision. Once again, how important is your faith to you? How important is it that your partner share your faith, or at least be sympathetic to and supportive of your faith?
Why religious compatibility matters in relationships | Deseret News
Clearly a relationship between a hard atheist and a committed Christian, Muslim, or Jew, or to a strong adherent of one of the other faiths, is going to face a rocky road. Please do not go into the relationship thinking that your partner will come around to your viewpoint in time. A lifetime of pressure to change is a very long time to be stressed out. It is a recipe for conflict and eventual breakup. If, and only if, you can imagine the two of you together after ten, twenty, thirty, or more years, still believing as you do now, then you may have the basis for a lasting relationship.
Keep in mind that mutual respect is a key part of any relationship that works. What about the children? If there is even the slightest possibility that the two of you will have children together, this introduces a whole new layer to the issue of interfaith marriage. Put simply, if you intend to marry someone who does not share your faith, you must work out ahead of time what kind of religious upbringing, if any, your children will have.
But when there are children involved, the two of you will have to come to some agreement about their religious upbringing.
Love but Different Religions - Dating & Social Anxiety Disorder
Whether you are a Catholic or Protestant Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, or of some other faith, if you are active in your local congregation it is important to find out whether it has this kind of requirement.
Then you and your partner may have a difficult decision to make. If you belong to a more liberal church or religion that does not have this requirement, you still have to come to an agreement between the two of you about how you will raise your children.
For example, if you are a Christian and your husband- or wife-to-be is a Muslim, will the children be brought up Christian or Muslim? Will they go to religious classes at the church or at the mosque? Or will they be taught both religions and allowed to make up their own minds as they grow up?
Every situation is different. The important thing is that you and your partner talk about it, and come to an agreement before you get married and start having children. What should you do? Is your relationship doomed?
Why religious compatibility matters in relationships
Or does it have a real future? Only the two of you can decide that.
But it is not the only ingredient. Common beliefs, common values, common morals and ethics, common goals in life—over time these, or the lack of them, will make or break your relationship.
Many relationships start out with raptures of transcendent love only to end out on the rocks of disagreement, conflict, breakup, and divorce. The young man and woman are both nervous, but the candlelit restaurant has created a calm, romantic mood. Orders placed with the waiter, they each take a deep breath, ready to dive into a new line of conversation. If this scenario seems unlikely, it's because it is.Can I Have a Relationship with Someone with Different Beliefs? — Ask a Pastor, Dr. Joel C. Hunter
Even during the contentious presidential election, people preferred political conversations to religious ones. Six in 10 U. Religious compatibility isn't a top-of-mind concern for many relationship seekers, who are often more focused on finding someone who likes the same television shows or outdoor activities.
Only 44 percent of Americans say shared religious beliefs are very important for a successful marriage, compared to 66 percent who say having shared interests, 63 percent who say a satisfying sexual relationship and 62 percent who say sharing household chores, Pew Research Center reported in October.
But while avoiding deep discussions about the value of prayer or arguments over the pope's latest proclamation may seem expedient on the dating scene, couples can struggle in the long term if they don't discuss faith from the start, according to recent research on religion and romance.
The religious beliefs partners bring to a relationship affect how conflicts play out and the faith lives of their future children. Drawing on shared beliefs Religiously matched couples can draw on resources that would not exist without that spiritual bone during times of conflict or stress.
For example, they might choose to pause an argument to pray together, which many religion researchers describe as a valuable way to address hurt feelings. A strong religious foundation can also sustain relationships through dark periods, such as the aftermath of an affair, as the Deseret News reported in September. Couples who believe their connection is sanctified, or centered on God, seem to have more success than other pairings in overcoming these difficult situations.