Child parent relationship theory in business

Eric Berne: Transactional Analysis -

child parent relationship theory in business

The parent-child relationship is often considered to be the most enduring and significant Diana Baumrind: Parenting Styles & Theory. Transactional analysis (TA) is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy wherein social . It offers a theory for child development by explaining how our adult patterns of life originated in childhood. Berne differentiated his Parent, Adult, and Child ego states from actual adults, parents, and children, by using capital. On another level, parent–child relationships may be understood from the perspective of of parent–child relationships, some of which overlap with traditional theories, e most basic trade-off s are between somatic eff ort (i.e., growth, body.

The Natural Child is largely un-self-aware and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make yahoo, whee, etc. They like playing and are open and vulnerable.

The cutely-named Little Professor is the curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff often much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance. Together with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child.

The Adaptive Child reacts to the world around them, either changing themselves to fit in or rebelling against the forces they feel.

Communications transactions When two people communicate, each exchange is a transaction. Many of our problems come from transactions which are unsuccessful. Parents naturally speak to Children, as this is their role as a parent. They can talk with other Parents and Adults, although the subject still may be about the children. In fact these parts of our personality are evoked by the opposite. We also play many games between these positions, and there are rituals from greetings to whole conversations such as the weather where we take different positions for different events.

These are often 'pre-recorded' as scripts we just play out. They give us a sense of control and identity and reassure us that all is still well in the world.

Other games can be negative and destructive and we play them more out of sense of habit and addiction than constructive pleasure. Conflict Complementary transactions occur when both people are at the same level Parent talking to Parent, etc. Here, both are often thinking in the same way and communication is easier. Problems usually occur in Crossed transactions, where each is talking to a different level.

The ideal line of communication is the mature and rational Adult-Adult relationship. Being a Controlling Parent invites the other person into a Child state where they may conform with your demands. We can confront people playfully as a way of dealing with a difficult situation.

This can diffuse a potential problem and get the message across. When working with others we can choose where we come from communicate from. Effective communication happens when we are in a Mindful Process. Ineffective modes The ineffective red Modes all emanate from outdated experiences, which are not relevant or appropriate in the present. When in this Mode you will believe that others cannot do things as well as you can, or perhaps only certain chosen people can. If you lead from this position you are unlikely to develop a loyal supportive team or culture.

This is not helpful for followers or leaders. When in this Mode the person will often do things for others which they are capable of doing for themselves. People who find it difficult to delegate might be in this Mode. When in this Mode we over-adapt to others and tend to experience such emotions as depression or unrealistic fear and anxiety.

When in this Mode we are unlikely to make good team members and will be highly stressed if we have to manage others. It is important to be clear that this is not simply about being in disagreement, but a style of going against whatever others put forward. Here we express a "You're not OK" message. At work we tend not to take responsibility for our actions and are unlikely to progress as we need a great deal of management in order to focus our energy and keep boundaries.

Diagnosis It is helpful to be able to assess or diagnose which ego state in the structural model, or which mode in the descriptive model, somebody is in. In this way we can respond appropriately as well as ensure which mode we are addressing. However, when we work with other staff or are relating with young people, we are responding on the behavioural level. It is not always possible, or appropriate, to be undertaking more in-depth types of diagnosis. I have outlined them here though so that an understanding of the complexity of the process can be achieved.

Behavioural diagnosis Words, tone, tempo of speech, expressions, postures, gestures, breathing, and muscle tone provide clues for diagnosing ego states. Parent mode words typically contain value judgments, Adult words are clear and definable, and Free Child mode words are direct and spontaneous.

child parent relationship theory in business

For example, a person in Adapted Child mode may cry silently, whereas when in Free Child mode we are likely to make a lots of noise. This can switch even mid-sentence.

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If we are leaning forward it is likely we are in the posture of the Parent mode, whereas if we are in Adult mode we tend to be erect. These are indicators not guarantees. Assessment needs to be supported by other methods of diagnosis.

Transactional analysis - Wikipedia

Social diagnosis Observation of the kinds of transactions a person is having with others. For example, if eliciting a response from someone's caretaking Parent it is likely that the stimulus is coming from Child, though not necessarily the Adapted Child mode.

Our own responses to someone will often be a way of assessing which ego state or mode they are coming from. Historical diagnosis The person's past also provides important information. If, as a child we had feelings similar to those we are experiencing now, it is likely we are in Child ego state. If our mother or father behaved or talked in the same way that we are behaving or talking now then we are probably in a Parent ego state.

Phenomenological diagnosis This occurs when we re-experience the past instead of just remembering it. This means that diagnosis is undertaken by self-examination. This is sometimes accurate and sometimes very inaccurate as the Child ego state may be afraid to allow our Adult to know what is going on. Strokes In Transactional Analysis we call compliments and general ways of giving recognition strokes. This name came from research which indicated that babies require touching in order to survive and grow.

It apparently makes no difference whether the touching induces pain or pleasure - it is still important. On the whole we prefer to receive negative strokes than no strokes at all, at least that way we know we exist and others know we exist. We all have particular strokes we will accept and those we will reject. For example, if we have always been told we are clever, and our brother is creative, then we are likely to accept strokes for being clever, but not for being creative.

Transactional analysis

From this frame of reference only one person in the family can be the creative one and so on. Stroking can be physical, verbal or nonverbal. It is likely that the great variety of stroke needs and styles present in the world results from differences in wealth, cultural mores, and methods of parenting.

Stroke economy Claude Steiner suggests that, as children, we are all indoctrinated by our parents with five restrictive rules about stroking. By training children to obey these rules, says Steiner, parents ensure that ".

A "I like you" B "I don't like you" Strokes can be unconditional or conditional. An unconditional stroke is a stroke for being whereas a conditional stroke is a stroke for doing.

They only let in strokes which they think they are allowed to let in. For instance they allow themselves to receive strokes for being clever and keep out strokes for being good looking.

One way to think about this to consider being out in the rain. The rain is the strokes that are available to us, both positive and negative. There is a hole in the umbrella and some of the strokes go through and we save them in a bucket to enjoy in lean times.

Conversely we might use them negatively to reinforce the negative strokes we give to ourselves.

child parent relationship theory in business

Of course, some just bounce off the umbrella and we might not accept the good strokes that are coming our way. Some might come in but fall straight onto the floor. Life positions Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decisions and behaviour. When we are conceived we are hopefully at peace, waiting to emerge into the world once we have grown sufficiently to be able to survive in the outside of the womb.

If nothing untoward happens we will emerge contented and relaxed. However, perhaps our mother had some traumatic experiences, or the birth was difficult or even life threatening. This experience is likely to have an effect on the way we experience the world, even at the somatic level. In which case we might emerge sensing that life is scary and might, for example, go into "I am not OK and You are not OK either". Let's take it that the pregnancy went fine, and the birth was easy enough.

Well life experiences might reinforce our initial somatic level life position, or contradict it. This might be the only sense we can make of our experiences.