The stages of grief that follow any trauma, breakup included, can happen in a 5 . Anger. Initially, you may not be able to connect with feelings of anger. Breakups are hard but understanding these phases can help you fully heal and move on. The 5 stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human, .
Stages of Grief: General Patterns for Breakups, Divorce, Loss, More
We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one. Rationally, we know the person is not to be blamed.
Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry. The doctor who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day.
Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment.
Understand the options available to you. If only we had sought medical attention sooner… If only we got a second opinion from another doctor… If only we had tried to be a better person toward them… This is an attempt to bargain. Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable, and the accompanying pain. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
Guilt often accompanies bargaining. We start to believe there was something we could have done differently to have helped save our loved one. Depression There are two types of depression that are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss.
Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression. Allow yourself to work through your anger, perhaps by exercising, drawing or writing in a journal. Bargaining In the bargaining phase you will try to restore your relationship or perhaps rebuild it as a friendship.
Jennifer Kromberg's article "The 5 Stages of Grieving the End of a Relationship," you may try anything you can to reclaim your relationship. Instead of jumping through hoops to get your relationship back, you can salvage your pride by starting anew without your ex and progress to other stages of grief.
At this point in your grieving, you come to terms with the fact that the situation is not going to change. This is a time for reflection.
What You Should Know About the Stages of Grief
You may want to be alone. Realize the kindness of others is not intended to upset you. Instead, rely on your support system to keep you distracted from your grief.
Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream? We want life returned to what is was; we want our loved one restored. We want to go back in time: We may even bargain with the pain. We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt. People often think of the stages as lasting weeks or months. They forget that the stages are responses to feelings that can last for minutes or hours as we flip in and out of one and then another.
We do not enter and leave each individual stage in a linear fashion. We may feel one, then another and back again to the first one. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined.
The 5 Stages of Grief & Loss
This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone?
Why go on at all? Depression after a loss is too often seen as unnatural: The loss of a loved one is a very depressing situation, and depression is a normal and appropriate response. To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be unusual. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way.
This is not the case. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it. It is the new norm with which we must learn to live.