Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship - PsychAlive
In relationships, there is usually a bit of a struggle for who has the upper hand. With control issues over who will be the more dominant figure, a small battle of the. We chatted with Velázquez who shared some of her tips on how to gain more control over your romantic relationships without having to be. Lose Control to Find Closeness in Your Relationships for intimate, close bonds with friends and family is more important than ever for their overall well-being.
Essentially, we are back in our past, reacting with intensity that has nothing to do with the present. And though we can never control another person, when we change our reaction, we make it much more likely to shift the dynamic, soften the other person, and keep the interaction between two adults in their lives today. For example, returning to the couple who got into an argument while driving, the woman was determined to take a different approach the next time they had a potentially heated interaction.
You should be thanking me, not telling me what I did wrong! Instead of being at odds all night, the two of them were able to feel closer and more like themselves, even while addressing a mutual source of stress.
We can all take control of our responses and be the type of partner we want to be. We can shift the dynamic by changing our half of the interaction. Here are some principles we can adopt to achieve this outcome: Take a pause to decide how you want to react. We often find that after a fight we have the perspective we needed before things escalated, so try finding quiet before entering a storm.
If we feel really emotionally shaken up by another person, we should do what we can to calm down before we react.
Take a few slow breaths before responding or try a moment of meditation.
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Anything we can do to help us feel less stirred up is a smart choice in these moments. Think about the big picture. We should always try to keep our eye on the end-goal. It may feel really good to try to win the battle of an argument, but not if we lose the war.
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Keeping both the image of who we want to be and our goals for the relationship in the forefront of our mind can help. Take note of your triggers. Every one of us would benefit from exploring and really getting to know the situations that set us off. Maybe we feel insecure about being ignored, because we were left alone a lot as kids. If we know what riles us up, we can be aware of the scenarios that are likely to trigger us.
Seek honest and direct communication. Conflict is bound to arise in any relationship. The point of controlling our reaction is not to shut up or shut down ourselves. Rather, we should strive for direct and honest communication.
We can choose sensitive times and ways to communicate what we want or how we feel toward our partner. Being open and vulnerable creates an environment where the other person feels comfortable to do the same, and we can both work toward a common goal of knowing each other better and getting closer.
At the end of the day, we cannot control anyone but ourselves, and no one else can control us. How do I want to treat my relationship partner?
How to Be in Control in a Relationship In relationships, there is usually a bit of a struggle for who has the upper hand. With control issues over who will be the more dominant figure, a small battle of the sexes may commence.Winning the Power Struggle in Your Relationship
Women often want to prove their independence and prove that they are just as strong as men. Meanwhile, men want the power and upper hand too.
So here are some ways that you can be in control or gain control without letting the relationship suffer as a result. It is important to stand up for yourself and hold your ground.
Show you have control over your emotions and choices. If they respect you, it will mean a lot to them that you are upfront and honest.
By communicating clearly, you will show that you are in control. This will also make you feel more empowered.
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It is healthy to have your own hobbies and friends to spend your time with outside of the relationship. This is a good way of how to be in control in a relationship because it shows that you are comfortable with yourself. Use examples and stand up for what you expect in the relationship. Know your limits and talk them clearly to your partner. Additionally, make sure your partner knows that no means no and validates your decision with supportive honest statements.
Show your partner that you deserve the best.